Laugh and the world laughs with you

Mon, 17 Oct 2005 21:44:36 GMT

So, this chapter is at an end. It's hard to believe that I've done what I set out to do years ago; graduated magna cum laude from college and found a good job in a great city.

I'm not really patting myself on the back here as much as looking around in awe at how far I've come. I'm very different from the person who started this journal over four years ago.

It's time to bring fuuangel's journal to a close. I'm going to miss it, but it's time to move on. I was going to use "otoko_masari" as my new journal name and reserved it months ago, but I ended up choosing "pearlandopal" instead because it's easier to tell people and easier for most people to understand since it's jewelry-related. It's also my AIM name so it simplifies things.

The new journal will be locked to friends-only. I've seen what happens when people publicly post work-related information, no matter how irrelevant or innocuous.

I want to close with another copy of this poem, which has also been in my userinfo. I've loved this poem since I was very small, six or seven years old. Later, my eighth grade English teacher chose poems that she thought represented each of us for a class project. This was the one she chose for me.

We are the music-makers,
And we are the dreamers of dreams,
Wandering by lone sea-breakers,
And sitting by desolate streams;
World-losers and world-forsakers,
On whom the pale moon gleams:
Yet we are the movers and shakers
Of the world forever, it seems.

Arthur William Edgar O'Shaughnessy

This is Lindley, signing out. Please take a look at pearlandopal to read the continuation of my story.

Mon, 17 Oct 2005 20:41:35 GMT

My first day went pretty well. You're going to have to wait to read about it, though. I'm finally getting around to doing what I've planned to do for months - start a new Livejournal. A chapter in my life has come to an end and a new one has begun, and I'd like to reflect that.

Please add pearlandopal to your friends list. After a final post or two here, that's where I'll be at.

Mon, 17 Oct 2005 10:24:11 GMT

Actually managed to get up with the alarm (despite being short on sleep; if I get too little sleep my body simply ignores alarms). Talked to Raymond for a few minutes when he called to make sure I was up, which was nice.

Tossed Safeway frozen waffles in the toaster oven, fixed them and sat down to eat. Cut into them and found something brown and squishy. ...I think I'll just have a Luna bar or something instead.

Edit: I still have a bit of a cough left from that cold nearly a month ago. It surfaces when my throat gets dry, so I've been nursing a drink or a bottle of water most days. I hope it doesn't interfere today. I think it's not going away like it should partly because this happens every time I get a cold and partly because my cheap pillows have flattened so much that I'm not breathing properly when I sleep. Oh well.

Oddly, I've had Teng's "Homecoming" stuck in my head all morning for no good reason; I don't care all that much for the song. The odd bit is that it just surfaced in a random playlist of 1142 songs. Hm.

I'm wearing black pants, a gray shirt with the necklace that Grandma insisted I keep for myself (which really is a very nice one), a black jacket and ankle-height black dress boots. My hair's not cooperating, of course, but other than that I feel pretty good.

I've got to go if I'm going to get there by 8:30.

Mon, 17 Oct 2005 01:37:36 GMT

I'm really not as upset as I sound. Just nervous and a touch of PMS.

I left it too late and now don't have time to write about Saturday. I will though.

First day of work is tomorrow. Wish me luck.

Eeeeeeeeeeeee!

Sun, 16 Oct 2005 22:55:12 GMT

PEOPLE, I AM FROM THE SOUTH. TO ME, YOU ALL HAVE ACCENTS. ON TOP OF THAT, YOU ALL FRICKING MUMBLE. IF YOU MUMBLE I AM GOING TO ASK YOU TO REPEAT YOURSELF.

WHEN I HAVE ASKED YOU TO REPEAT YOURSELF THREE TIMES, DON'T TREAT ME LIKE I'M AN IDIOT. IT'S NOT MY FAULT. WHAT, IS ENUNCIATION ILLEGAL UP HERE?

I want to go home. Half of DC thinks I'm stupid because I don't know how things work here, and the other half thinks I'm stupid because they refuse to speak above a low mumble.

Sun, 16 Oct 2005 16:32:47 GMT

My jewelry pliers have all disappeared. Argh. It's like trying to write something down and discovering you have no fingers.

I know they're in the apartment somewhere, but I haven't seen them since we moved and I have no idea where I packed them. I've hunted every reasonable place and no luck.

Edit: Found them. Someday I'll learn to put things where I'll find them again.

Sun, 16 Oct 2005 05:13:57 GMT

Capclave was great. Bought stuff. More later.

Sat, 15 Oct 2005 12:18:05 GMT

I did it! Go me!

No, I didn't win the lottery. I visited the fitness center on the corner (it's free and part of the complex) and I didn't freak out.

Last week I went and chickened out because there was already someone there. This time someone walked in at the same time I did so I wanted to leave, but I forced myself to stay.

Considering the last time I went to anything resembling a gym I had a panic attack, I am quite proud of myself.

I desperately needed a minute to look around the place and actually figure out what things do - if you don't do the gym thing, how are you supposed to know? - but since the other girl walked in I didn't want to stand there like an idiot and just headed for the treadmill because at least I generally know what you do with those.

I walked for half an hour and it was really nice - I haven't done a darn thing exercise-wise since I got here. Of course, I felt like an idiot the whole time because I don't know if normal people have to hang on to the silly thing. I certainly had to just to keep my balance, so I felt like an idiot with a bunch of other people coming in and working out. Oh well. At least I got something accomplished. That'll be a much nicer way to exercise in the winter than trying to walk outside.

And once Raymond joins me I may actually be able to figure out some of those other torture devi--um, machines.

And people using stair steppers look uncommonly goofy.

Sat, 15 Oct 2005 11:30:05 GMT

Hee!

The the impotence of proofreading

Thank God someone finally replaced that "I have a spelling checker" poem.

Fri, 14 Oct 2005 23:40:14 GMT

Best question on a webquiz ever:

Do you keep a to-do list? (tasks, not people)

Fri, 14 Oct 2005 18:01:15 GMT

It burnses us. Yes, it does.

Okay, according to your friendly local LJ Alton Brown fan community, apparently Alton Brown is good. Rachael Ray is bad. Why? Because Rachael is an "amateur" while Alton has "paid his dues."

Wait a minute. Alton started out as a producer and went through exactly two years of cooking school before doing Good Eats. Rachael managed food stores, was a chef, and got her show on Food Network because her local cooking shows were so popular. Oh no, wait a minute - that means she has MORE experience with food!

The stupidity burns, it really does.

Honestly, I like them both. I love Alton's science and Rachael's quick meals. I don't see why you have to love one and hate the other, and saying that Alton's a "real" chef and Rachael isn't is just ridiculous. *rolls eyes* I'm no logic expert, but even I can spot idiocy when I see it.

Beginner's Guide to the Metro

Fri, 14 Oct 2005 04:23:16 GMT

I've been meaning to write up a description of the Metro for those like me who haven't been exposed to it. Feel free to skip if you're already familiar with it. Entries like this also give me a chance to record some of my first impressions about DC.

The WMATA website is a good starting point. There are maps, schedules, trip planners and so on there, as well as a neat printable brochure that has the main Metro map as well as a listing of stops by interest (shopping, sightseeing, etc.). If you have a specific destination, look at the map in advance and figure out what color line you'll need to ride. Also, remember what stations are at each end of that line. It'll come in handy later.

When you come into a station, there are banks of farecard machines against the wall. Some of them take debit and credit; all of them take cash. All you have to do is follow the instructions and a little paper card will pop out. Your starting balance will be marked on it.

Stations with parking lots will also have SmarTrip card machines. You have to use one of these cards to get out of the parking lot if you parked there. They also work for fares on the Metro and the Metrobuses. They're a lot more durable than the regular farecards so if you plan to use the Metro regularly it's a good investment (or if you plan to park at a station).

Once you get your farecard, you'll see a row of turnstiles. Walk up the one of the ones with a green arrow on it. For these purposes I'm assuming that you have a farecard, not a SmarTrip card which works a little differently. The farecard goes into a little slot in the front of the turnstile and pops up at the top. Grab it and move on.

Go through the turnstile and head down the escalator (all the stops I've been at work this way, but they may not all have that). The Rosslyn escalator is several stories tall and is pretty wild to ride. Keep to the right; the left hand "lane" of the escalator is occupied by people who hurtle up and down at high speeds. Same for any escalators you encounter.

Once you get to the bottom look around for a set of tall black pillars. These will show you the routes. Remember what I said about knowing the end stations for the line you want? This is where it starts being important. The pillars will show the colors of the routes coming into that part of the station and will list all of the stops that train is going to.

Once you find the right pillar, you'll need to go to the platform and make sure you're heading in the right direction. Finding a platform is self-explanatory; it's the place where trains are coming in. To make sure you're going to be heading the right way, look at the electronic signs overhead that show which train is coming in when. For example, if you need to go north or east on the blue line, you'd want to head towards Largo, NOT Franconia, which is south and west. It sounds complicated but it's not bad once you get used to it.

Even if you get on the wrong train, it's no catastrophe. Just get off at the next station, find the same train going the other way, and return to your original station and try again. You won't be charged for screwups, so don't worry about it.

The indoor platforms are shaped more or less like a giant concrete tube. Most of the stations have two levels of platforms. The walls of the "tube" are of large concrete blocks with recessed areas in the center. The recesses above the third or fourth rank off the ground are filled with something that looks like sound-absorbing tiles. The stations are always a little dim.

The electronic signs overhead will tell you when to expect your train. I think the intervals are every two minutes during rush time and every ten otherwise, so you won't be waiting long. Even if you hesitate and miss it you can always catch the next one.

Train etiquette says that those waiting to get on come up to the doors when the train stops, but wait to either side of the door while others get off. Then you can go into the train. Snag a seat if you can. If it's full, grab onto one of the horizontal or vertical poles. Trust me; find something to hold on to.

Riding above ground is much like riding on a bus. Riding underground is quite different; it's very loud, more jerky than above ground and a different experience altogether. My first ride underground scared me half to death, but I'm sure that within a week it will be easy to ignore. If you're going to be on for more than a stop or two, bring something to read, since it's not much fun to watch concrete walls flashing by in the dark.

Oh, and each car has a Metro map near the door, so you can always check up on where you're going. The conductor announces each stop as you get to it (along with which side the doors will be opening on), but most of the time it's an incomprehensible mumble so don't depend on it.

Once you get to your stop, leave the train and go up the escalator and back to the row of turnstiles, following the green arrows. Put your farecard in again and it will take your fare off and print your new balance. No money is taken off the card until then, so if you don't actually leave any of the stations you can ride around as long as you like.

There. That's as closely as I can describe the process. :) I hope that helps give a general impresssion of the Metro. I'd love to hear descriptions sometime of some of the other city rail systems like the Elevated.

Thu, 13 Oct 2005 14:59:23 GMT

PSA the second: Spellcheck your Livejournal icons. Seriously. Not only do you look like an idiot when you misspell/confuse things, you continue to look like an idiot to everyone you meet in communities. Engrish is kind of funny. Stupidity isn't. Well, it is, but not in an endearing way.

Not directed towards the flist. :P

Off to see if I can find a parking space at the Van Dorn Metro station. Too bad it's too far to walk. The only problem with the Metro shuttle here is that it only runs a few very limited hours. Fine for a morning and evening commute, not so good for random trips.

Thu, 13 Oct 2005 14:22:02 GMT

PSA: "Skulk" and "sulk" are two different words. Confusing the two makes you look like an idiot.

Thank you.

Thu, 13 Oct 2005 01:18:12 GMT

There's a mob in this dungeon named "a Ree underguard" and I keep wondering what kind of colleges accept orcs as undergrads.

Wed, 12 Oct 2005 15:25:13 GMT

Mystic Theurge

22% Combativeness, 23% Sneakiness, 94% Intellect, 55% Spirituality

Brilliant and spiritual! You are a Mystic Theurge!

Score! You have a prestige class. A prestige class can only be taken
after you’ve fulfilled certain requirements. This may mean that you’re
an exceptionally talented person, but it probably doesn't.

The Mystic Theurge is a combination of a cleric and a mage. They
can cast both arcane and divine spells, and are good at both, making
them pretty terrifying on the battlefield. They have more raw
spellpower than just about any other class.

You're both intelligent and faithful, but not violent or deceitful. I guess that makes you a pretty good person.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 4% on Combativeness
You scored higher than 17% on Sneakiness
You scored higher than 94% on Intellect
You scored higher than 67% on Spirituality

Link: The RPG Class Test written by MFlowers on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Tue, 11 Oct 2005 05:28:42 GMT

No freaking way.

My betta fish died in under six hours. It's /got/ to be the water - the other one died as soon as I gave it DC water.

I can get another fish under warranty from PetSmart, but I'm much more worried about the fact that that tap water - AFTER dechlorinization - killed two fish within twelve hours of each being exposed to it. I'm even more worried that my poor hermit crabs are DRINKING that stuff (after dechlorinization, but it doesn't seem to matter).

Worse yet, I'M drinking that stuff! Ack!

Mon, 10 Oct 2005 22:34:16 GMT

I did something moderately dumb today: attempted to run errands on Columbus Day. Oi. Traffic was... well, worse than usual. I only went three places and it took me well over four hours. Of course, it doesn't help that I still don't know where I'm going and I keep having to turn around, which entails waiting in more traffic than necessary.

I went down to the Verizon place on Duke St. to get our cell phones today. Good Lord, those things are expensive, and so are the plans. Yeesh. I spent an ungodly amount of money on two phones and a basic monthly plan. The phone's shiny, although it was one of the cheapest models. Once I dig the number up I'll post it. It's an Audiovox something or other with a camera I'll probably never use.

I'm actually completely confused now about how the plan works. I'll figure it out eventually though. I am so not good with cellphones.

I stopped into the Autozone next door and bought a keychain unit of pepper spray. The guy at the counter picked on me about it. >.< I felt stupid. He was nice, though, so no harm done.

The next stop was Arlington Blvd. - I decided to take back a couple of tops I bought at Target that were really cheap quality and didn't look nearly as nice as the other business clothes I've gotten. Unfortunately, like an idiot I drove to Leesburg Pike instead. When I tried to turn around, I ducked into a side street that turned out to be the driveway into Tyson's Corner mall. Whoops. That little detour took close to an hour.

I finally made it to Target, did the return and then walked over to the PetSmart next door. I didn't really have any plans when I walked in, but I walked out with another hermit crab and a new betta as well as some crab treats and a new piece of cork bark for them to climb on. I love the two crabs I have, but the little one never ever comes up from the sand and I want the big one to have a playmate.

I also bought a couple more spare shells. By the way, I did finally choose names for them and will post them along with pictures when the server's back up. Oh, and the water in the betta's little container is blue. Weird.

The only problem is that I don't have any substrate at all for the new crab to use in the travel cage while it acclimates. I suppose I can pull some of the sand out of the big cage but I hate to do it that way. Should've picked some up while I was at the pet store - they're much better equipped than the PetSmart in Hickory.

Stopped at Subway to grab a sub (healthy, I know) and came home. Now I need to figure out this new phone. Ack! I need to get going on the clearance paperwork, too! And I need to get the poor crab into some kind of habitat and the fish into a new bowl.

Sun, 09 Oct 2005 23:34:12 GMT

I appreciate deeply how much effort our families put into helping us move.

However, what few pieces of good furniture we did have (my work desk, the entertainment center, my glass shelves) all now have the most interesting, obvious, ugly distress marks.

Bah.

However, the apartment is starting to look less and less like a collection of boxes and newspaper and more like a habitable environment.

Monday I am going to the Verizon place to get two cellphones. I'm running up ridiculous charges with the prepaid I currently have. When all I needed it for was emergencies it was fine, but the heavy usage it's seen lately is killing us. Might as well get a decent phone and get a few more minutes for the outrageous prices. We'd like to get two matching ones so we can get free in-network calling. Neither of us particularly want bells and whistles, although it's hard to avoid nowadays. Just good solid basic phones. Duston, any recommendations off the top of your head? Anything to be wary of/look for?

Back to cleaning and putting things away and playing EQ2, which insists on crashing every few minutes now. I do not know if this is related to the OC Fail message I'm now getting when I boot up.

Sun, 09 Oct 2005 05:23:22 GMT

Heck YEAH. Emusic has all of Vienna Teng's albums, including a live album. Sweet. Now I can hear everything else!

In case you didn't wade through the earlier tomes and didn't see, here's the link to her free full-length songs:

http://viennateng.com/listen/

Go. Listen. Seriously. Love.

we're here where the daylight begins
the fog on the streetlight slowly thins
water on water's the way
the safety of shoreline fading away

sail your sea
meet your storm
all I want is to be your harbor
the light in me
will guide you home
all I want is to be your harbor

fear is the brightest of signs
the shape of the boundary you leave behind
so sing all your questions to sleep
the answers are out there in the drowning deep

you've got a journey to make
there's your horizon to chase
so go far beyond where we stand
no matter the distance
I'm holding your hand

Sun, 09 Oct 2005 04:04:46 GMT

Okay, all the entries are up, if anyone actually wants to read through all that mess. All the backdated entries are marked as such.

Sun, 09 Oct 2005 01:42:32 GMT

After I get out of the shower I'll update. I'm going to backdate entries so it won't clog up everyone's friends page all at once.

Sun, 09 Oct 2005 01:01:37 GMT

I liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive!

More in a bit.

Thu, 29 Sep 2005 22:59:19 GMT

Signing off. Will be back when I have Internet again. Feel free to comment now or when I come back with anything you want me to read in your LJ, since I doubt I'll be reading back through a week's worth of entries.

Thu, 29 Sep 2005 19:51:56 GMT

I'm sure that part of it's leaving, and part of it's raging PMS, but I've been upset all day about my grandmother. She was more together mentally yesterday than she's been in a long time, but... I guess no one likes to see the giants of their childhood laid low.

My grandmother was seven feet tall. She knew everything. I loved visiting her. We wandered deep into the woods, sometimes as far as the river. I remember a sun-dappled dirt trail and dark pools. We picked through the trash heap for antique bottles (which I still have). She taught me that muscadines were good and caterpillars (the ones that eat cherry leaves) are funny to hold. We played Scrabble and Dutch Blitz and she always kept a room full of Play-doh and toys for her myriad grandchildren.

When I was in high school, I visited her for the first time in years and was shocked. My grandmother had become an old woman who was convinced that the grocery store cashiers were stealing her groceries and "the men" were putting mud into the pipes in her house. She wouldn't leave her house alone for fear those same men would sneak in and steal her hair combs.

She flatly refused to leave her home for years, and I don't blame her. Even though she can't take care of herself at home, she's much too independent to give up. She's walked out of various mental care facilities in the past. It's only now, when she can barely walk, that she's letting go. When I saw her yesterday her hands were too feeble to snap open the zippered plastic bags I keep my jewelry in.

She gave me her Scrabble board with the tiles. I didn't keep the board because it's in bad shape, but I kept the tiles. There are a mixture of red and white wooden ones, some with missing letters written on in pen. It looked like she was collecting her meager belongings to give away before she leaves for a nursing home. I think it was all she had to give me. I'd rather have those ratty old Scrabble tiles than a million dollars.

I don't know much at all about her life. Mom doesn't like to talk about her childhood. I do know that my grandfather was alcoholic and abusive. I can't remember a time when the two lived together; as far back as I can remember he lived across town at his garage. I'm sure that her life has been a hard and thankless one. Her grandchildren either avoid seeing her - her mental illness makes us all uncomfortable - or drain her of the money she freely gives away. Even I, the one she refers to as her favorite grandchild, left her alone.

She was worried that if she kept the bracelet I gave her that it would be stolen at the nursing home. That comment was what got me. She's worked so hard and been through so much, and now all she'll have is some nasty nursing home. I feel like I've abandoned her - I did, for so long - and now I'm moving and won't be able to visit her at all. We were always so close, just alike, and I abandoned her. I feel so guilty that I let her sudden (to me) mental trouble and physical infirmities scare me away.

She's been alone in that house for so many years. All she has to look forward to now is more loneliness, whether in her house or in a nursing home (if they can find one to accept her). It's the thought of being alone that way that's causing the tears streaming down my face right now. I just never let myself think about it before.

I walked away from her house with the firm intent of sending her packages when she goes to the home, but would she even accept them? Would she open them?

The next time I hear about her, it'll probably be of her death. Academically I can accept it, but emotionally... I just can't accept that that incredibly strong woman could be defeated.

Even if no one else does, I will remember. I will remember the woman you were and still are. I will remember your strength and your will and your courage. I love you.